You might have read the quote “A lady knows how to play the game” somewhere on the Internet, and if you are following me on Instagram you might have noticed that I have never used that quote in any of my Rules. I believe that playing games when dating is manipulative, plain mean, and counter-productive. So, if you do play games or follow some ridiculous dating rules – you should stop.
The most common way for women to play dating games is the –playing hard to get- game. This includes silly things like waiting a number of days before calling or texting back, or pretending like you have this super important thing on the day a guy suggests for you two to go on a date, or simply give him a “maybe” while in truth you are overexcited that he asked you out.
But why would you pretend like you are not interested when you are? It does not make any sense. It is ridiculous and immature and honestly, And honestly, I think that if a guy is really into you he probably worked up a lot of courage to come up to you and ask for a date and why would you give fuel to his agony by giving him a vague answer or pretending like you are too busy?
Oh and the best part of this is that you do it not because you sincerely want to, no…. Actually, you sincerely want you go on a date with this guy –but- in this manipulative concept of “playing hard to get” you believe that this will get him interested. Hmm…. News flash – he asked you out.. he is already interested. Now what is left is simply showing him who you are.
So instead of playing games, show him that you’re approachable, friendly, interested and interesting, intriguing, good company and relationship-worthy. Because, what is so wrong with being an open, honest, vulnerable, pro-active real woman with her own mind, body and soul?
I guess it boils down to the fear of getting hurt. Every time you feel like you have to be “on top of the situation”/”in charge”/”in control” when it comes to dating –it ALWAYS boils down to you being afraid of getting hurt. And you are obviously right to be; the pain of heartbreak is probably one of the worst pains you could ever feel. But remember, if a guy hurts you just to be mean then he is simply a bad person, and if the love runs out then at least it was a beautiful life experience. Dare to be vulnerable.
When you open up and dare to be yourself, vulnerable, joke around like you do with friends, and be honest about your feelings you will be hard to forget. And any relationship-worthy guy would cherish your honesty and your courage to say exactly what you feel instead of making him have to google “how to decode women”.
If you are interested in a guy, tell him.
If you want to go out with him, ask him.
If a guy asks you out and you want to go, go.
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I am split between these two opinions (yours and the Date Rule) bc many times when you are too honest, not everyone can handle it and I speak from personal experience, people tend to cool off easily. Hard to get doesn't exist without any reason, bc people appreciate more the things or the people that are not easily approachable, and I think especially with Men they have this Animal instinct to fight. I don't play hard to get but I don't give in easily all though I might be crazy for him, I like to discover the other person and take my time. So I agree with you and I agree with the dating rule. Keep up the good work!
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ReplyDeleteThere may be some truth in what you say, but what I´ve learned all this years is when a guy is interested in you, playing hard to get or not he will approach you.
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