photo of me strolling around in a park :)
Life is a series of moments that can never be taken back, and with this post I just want to remind you that sometimes all you need to be happy is changing your focus and perspective on things.
I think that we sometimes forget what actually makes us happy. I think that when asked what makes us happy or what constitutes happiness, we can all give a standard answer: family, friends, experiences, health, love, and so on. But that does not really help us choosing what to do with our lives, and we second-guess whether we made the right decisions all the time.
Did I choose the right career path? The right education? Was dropping out of school really what I should have done? Is that guy the one for me? Should I get kids now? Should I work more? Should I shop less? Should I travel more? Am I doing what is right most of the time? Is this happiness? Am I happy? Should I be happy?
More often than not we start looking for answers to these questions by comparing ourselves to others. Some say it is great to compare yourself to others as it can be a source of motivation, but comparing looks, money, friends, families, career and vacations is just time consuming an ineffective. Comparing yourself to others is more often then not a source to self-doubt leaving you feeling envious and can even spark depression. You might also find yourself spending your time taking pleasure in someone else’s failures or misfortunes.
So if you shouldn’t compare yourself to others, how can you then evaluate your life and determine what makes you happy? Well, if you really want to live a life that feels fulfilling, you need to dedicate your time and energy to your own values. And while I do not have all the answers, in order to help you (and me), I did spend some time reading up on things in order to find some questions that you can ask yourself:
1. If you didn’t have a job, how would you choose to fill that time?
Imagine the scenario where you cant go to work, and you can’t stay home: where would you go? What would you do? Make sure to think about this for a while, because while and then why not write down a list of a few things you would have wanted to do and then maybe go as far as going them on your next day off.
2. What is your opinion of yourself?
I think this is a good question to ask yourself because it is soo important to understand your own views of yourself and why you have them. When you love who you are, you accept who you are. And as true as that is, and as many times as we have heard it, we do still end up putting more time and effort into making others like us than we do working on our own opinion of ourselves.
3. What do you already have that enhances your enjoyment of life?
I don’t think there are many people that ask themselves this question enough. Though I do believe most of us are aware of the value of being grateful of what we have, we don’t really take the time to think about what that is for us specifically. Do this for a moment and then you will notice how much you already have that you rarely even reflect on. And if you cannot appreciate what you have now, how will you learn to appreciate what you will have later?
4. What are your most frequent thoughts?
Are your thoughts mostly positive or negative? A negative mind-set is a good indicator of you being unhappy. If you have an overall negative attitude, or if you tend to feel a lot of hate towards others – it’s a sign that something is wrong and you should probably start looking for the source of that negativity and anger.
5. What is going well in your life?
While being busy striving to be successful you should occasionally find time to reflect over what is going well in your life. I don’t mean that you should simply think of that latest job promotion and think ah yep done. No, instead think about your long term past and see where you feel like things have gone really well. Maybe you can even add circumstances where you have felt very lucky to be you.
6. How are you spending your time?
Think about what you spend time on and use a week or a month as a reference point. Are you spending time doing things you like or are you stuck in a routine where it is difficult to find the time for things. Check if you do any of the things you listed in question no 1.
7. What risks would you take if you knew you could not fail?
This is probably my absolute favorite. I don’t know why I put it as no 7 and not no 1 but anyhow. Most people regret not taking a chance, not failing while doing it. We all know that we have probably all read that somewhere. So, why don’t you just make sure to ask yourself this question, really think through your answers, and then when the time comes when you feel courageous you can start from the top and work yourself down the list. You wont even have to stop a second to think about what you would love to take a risk at ;)
That’s my list of 7 questions. I hope you found them useful and remember to live your life with a big appetite and not waste it on too much worrying and comparing.
Which one of these 7 questions do you find most helpful? What question would you ad to this list?
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So much beauty.
ReplyDeleteEdita
www.pret-a-reporter.co.uk
aaaw thank you ^_^
DeleteThe first question really got me thinking... I don't really know. First I was thinking that it would be easy - I would go shopping or go for lunch with friends. But you cannot do that and only that 8h a day 40h a week. So I started looking into museums, art exhibitions, theater shows and such in my city and I feel like I have been completely occupied with what ever I spend my time doing that it has never crossed my mind to do this earlier hehe. So now I feel like I will take on the challenge and actually book tickets for a theater show with a friend for next weekend.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment <3 it means a lot that you take your time to share your thoughts with me ^_^!
Deletehehe I know, I think it is tricky for most people. For me, I love photography and most things creative so I spend a lot of time doing that. However, the best part is the editing so I guess I would be the wierd person sitting in a cafe in a corner with my computer editing photos hehe. Also, I love musicals so I try to go to the opera once in a while but sometimes its hard to find friends that want to go. And when it is warm there are tons to do outside, the hard part is really the winter season for me.
This is such a great post! I definitely have fallen into the trap of comparing myself to others, which only made me miserable in the long run. I love the first question because I feel that many people tend to define themselves in terms of their job, and it's very important to be able to look past that to determine what makes you happy. I think that creating a list of things that you would do if you didn't have to work is a great way to really make the most of your days off.
ReplyDelete-Helen
Sweet Helen Grace